Pema Chodron explains the tonglen practice in the following way:
In particular, to care about other people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean —you name it— to have compassion and to care for these people, means not to run from the pain of finding these things in ourselves. In fact, one's whole attitude toward pain can change. Instead of fending it off and hiding from it, one could open one's heart and allow oneself to feel that pain, feel it as something that will soften and purify us and make us far more loving and kind.
I know it's good but it sure does hurt.
_______________________
After some consideration, I am struck by the lack of empathy I have shown in all of this. Of course I am in pain, but I can't begin to think I know what he or anyone feels about it. It *is* painful to realize that I have caused him pain in all of this, too, but I must have compassion for myself as much as for him if I want to come out of this more loving and kind, instead of more bitter and sad. It is times like these when it is so difficult to see outside one's own experience, but I think times like these it is probably all the more important.
No comments:
Post a Comment